Planning Guide
How to Organise a Hen Do or Stag Do: Complete Organiser's Guide
Step-by-step guide to organising a hen do, stag do, or bachelorette party. Covers group coordination, activity deposits, keeping secrets, and managing mixed friend groups — with free tools included.
Organising your first hen do or stag do? Or managing a group where everyone's in different locations, work schedules clash, and nobody agrees on activities? This guide walks through everything from coordinating scattered group availability to collecting deposits without drama — written specifically for maids of honour, best men, and party organisers dealing with real Hen & Bachelor Party logistics.
Before you invite anyone, lock down the absolute essentials: who the party is for, the date (or date range), and the basic format. Vague invites create chaos. Clear parameters create smooth coordination.
Set the date — or get agreement on a date range
A hen do or stag do lives and dies by the date. Don't just pick one — check availability of your core group (bride/groom's closest friends) first. Use a quick poll (WhatsApp, Doodle, Who's In) asking for their top 3 available weekends. Most groups find consensus within a week.
Decide: weekend away, day event, or evening out
Weekend away (Friday night to Sunday) demands more planning but works for scattered groups. Day events (spa, activity, pub crawl) are easier to coordinate but need tighter scheduling. Evening events suit people with work commitments. Each has different logistics.
Set a rough budget range
Before you pick activities, be honest about what your group can afford. A £40-per-person spa day appeals to different people than a £200 weekend away. This filters who'll actually join and removes budget shock later.
Decide what stays secret
Can the bride/groom know the venue? The activity? The timing? Be clear with your group from day one. Secret activities fail when someone accidentally spoils the surprise or the bride/groom refuses to go because they're nervous about the unknown.
Frequently asked questions
How do I get everyone to commit instead of saying "maybe"?
Make RSVP conditional on a deposit. "RSVP yes only if you can pay £40 deposit by [DATE]." This filters out the maybes instantly. Use Who's In's paid event feature to collect it digitally, or ask for bank transfer. Track who's paid in a spreadsheet. That's your real headcount.
How far in advance should I plan a hen do or stag do?
Bare minimum: 4 weeks. Better: 6-8 weeks for weekend away with accommodation. This gives you time to book popular venues, collect deposits, and coordinate scattered friend groups. The longer the event (weekend away vs. afternoon out), the earlier you need to start.
How much should people pay and how do I collect it without drama?
Be specific upfront: "Total cost is £150 per person. £50 deposit due by [DATE], remaining £100 due [DATE]." Break payments into chunks — it feels less painful. Use one payment method (bank transfer or Venmo) not multiple asks. Share a simple spreadsheet showing who's paid. Transparency kills drama.
How do I keep the venue or activity secret?
Send the RSVP link on Who's In but don't fill in the location details. Just say "Location revealed one week before." Then update the event with full details closer to the date. For activities, tell your core team the plan but ask them not to spoil it. The bride/groom can know the activity but not exact timing or location — let that be a surprise.
What if people from different friend groups don't get along?
Design the day to force mixing: group meals with assigned seating, team activities with mixed groups, icebreaker games. Don't let cliques form. Also: keep the group size manageable. Bigger groups are harder to blend. 12-15 people is easier to mix than 25+.
How do I handle someone who drops out last minute but already paid?
This is why you need a clear cancellation policy upfront. "Cancellations within 48 hours forfeit your deposit unless we can fill your spot." If they drop with 2 weeks notice, you can refund or credit it. If it's last-minute, they lose it — you've already paid venues. Be sympathetic but firm. Put the policy in writing before people pay.
What's the best way to coordinate the group without endless WhatsApp chaos?
Use Who's In as your single source of truth for logistics and dates. Update it with all confirmed details, parking info, timing, what to bring. Then create your WhatsApp group only for banter and last-minute coordination. Keep critical info on Who's In where people can reference it anytime.
How do I avoid being the person who has to chase everyone for money?
Set firm deadlines and communicate them clearly. "Deposit of £50 due by [DATE]. After that date, if you haven't paid, I'm assuming you're not coming." Most people will pay if they know the deadline. Send one reminder at day 7, one at day 3. After day 0, assume they're out and stop chasing. This sounds harsh but saves your sanity and your friendships.
Related Planning Guide guides
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